Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
