I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I am spending my child support on dildos
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
