i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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