i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
