Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
