Its about making memories worth repressing
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
