Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
