dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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