Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
