If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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