Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
