Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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