Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
