Duck Duck Cougar?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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