somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
