You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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