You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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