This girl is more easily done than said...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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