after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
