u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
