You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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