We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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