are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
