I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
