True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
