Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
