Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
