yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
