i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
