I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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