But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
