I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
