who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
