I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
