I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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