"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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