I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
