you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
