New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
