I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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