So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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