Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
