So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
