"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
