last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
