i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
