I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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