you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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