I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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