OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Im part way to drunk.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
