Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
