why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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