Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
