So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
